How to be a computer expert, or at least smell like one.

So now you’ve graduated from college (or maybe dropped out), and you’re working in computer support. Not phone support, which is less a job than occupational water-boarding, but having to interact with people in person. I’ve noticed a few failings in my young male colleagues that I wish to address in a series of Support Tips:

1. Wash. I was once described as “one of the more pleasant support people, as I ‘bathed regularly’.” I bathe every day, as a matter of fact. I use deodorant and everything. People don’t want to gossip about your scent…they prefer not to smell you at all.
2. Wash your clothes. See #1
3. Wash your hands. You’re walking around all day long typing on other people’s keyboards. You’re a walking, talking disease vector. Wash your hands after you use someone else’s keyboard and mouse. That way you might also skip getting their 2-year-old’s pink-eye. I’ve used keyboards so thick with finger goo I could barely keep down my lunch.
4. Answer your e-mails in a timely fashion. Please. Pretty please. And remember to set your ‘Out-Of-Office’ message when you go on vacation. You know what sending an email to some IT support people is like? Screaming into the abyss. All you hear is the wind.

…more to come.

Buzzword

Buzzword is an impressive new Flex/Flash based online word processor app. You can create an account and try it out for free:

http://www.buzzword.com